Super Bowl LIII Preview

LA Rams vs New England Patriots. Super Bowl 53. It’s the perfect matchup. Yeah I said it. The Saints got robbed but oh well. Life sucks. The only time we will bring that up again is if the Rams get blown out which is not happening. I’m not getting into any strategies or stats and analytics as to why one team will prevail. There’s enough people doing that and talking about it ad nauseum. Plus those predictions are 50-50 anyways. My prediction you’re getting is foolproof. You’ll see it so eloquently outlined below. The pleasure is yours.

Best football players participating in Super Bowl 53 (no disrespect meant to the O Linemen)

1. Aaron Donald

2. Tom Brady

3. Todd Gurley

4. Jared Goff

5. Ndamokong Suh/Marcus Peters/Aquib Talib/Brandin Cooks/Robert Woods/CJ Anderson/Mark Barron aka the Rams have more name brand guys than the Patriots

I count one Patriots player among that list. Granted this is arbitrary but hard to name a 2nd Pats player better than Goff and Gurley. Yes coaches call the shots but it’s the players who win the game. Advantage Rams

Uniforms

Rams got the edge on this one easily. The classic blue and yellow with the horn on the shoulder pads and helmets are a thing of beauty. Classic is a word that has been thrown out on numerous occasions. The unis are on the short list for greatest of all time. The Patriots away joints are….bland. Can’t get any more Massachusetts than that. Rams in a landslide.

Clutch

What team do you have more faith in driving down the field with less than two minutes left needing a go ahead touchdown? What team do you have more faith in getting a fourth down stop at the goal line to preserve their lead. I could just rename this category experience because the Patriots have been in these situations over and over and over again. No disrespect to the Rams but they just aren’t as battle tested as their counterparts (although they get their huge props for coming back from 13 down in the New Orleans Superdome). Tom Brady does game winning drives for funsies. Julian Edelman doesn’t play a down unless it starts with a 3. Bill Belichick subs in the right players at just the right time. Shit they even call the coin toss right each time they’re in overtime. These observations point towards a Patriots edge in this category. For what it’s worth, I would take Greg Zeurlein and Johnny Hecker as two Rams who I trust more so in clutch situations than their counterparts.

More likely to jump out to a big lead early

Football is a wild sport in the sense that the best team doesn’t always win. Because the playoffs are win or go home, you just have to be better than your opponent on game day. There is going to be something fluky that happens which will turn the tides. Let’s say the Rams win the toss, drive down the field and score a touchdown. Very possible right? Okay cool so now the Pats can’t get anything going on the ensuing drive and punt it right back to the Rams. Rams take advantage, get a field goal and are up 10-0. Nothing crazy, Brady has duggen out of deeper holes before. But then Defensive Player of the Year Aaron Donald manhandles the guy in front of him, hitting Brady as he releases the ball, then Mark Barron catches the deflection and runs it back for a td. Now the Rams are up 17-0 before anyone finishes their first beer. Pats are fighting and clawing back the rest of the game while the Rams opponent shifts from the other team to the clock. This situation is entirely possible!!! Yeah sure, the exact same scenario can happen in the Pats favor but my gut is telling me it is more likely to happen with the Rams. Science people, don’t argue with it. Advantage Rams

Better story

Who’s win will provide more feel good moments? Even though approximately 95% of America will be rooting for the Rams, this is some Super Team shit that everyone hates. They “tanked” under Jeff Fisher, the most mediocre coach ever (aka the Kurt Warner of coaches), so they can screw over the city of St Louis and move to the bright lights of Los Angeles. They made a great move though in hiring Sean McVay and had a great first year. After that great first year, they evaluated themselves like an exceptional organization would and decided to make upgrades. They proceeded to shake up their roster and go all in for this year. If they do not succeed, they are screwing themselves in a couple years because they came up empty now. The Rams traded a first round pick for Brandin Cooks, signed Suh, traded for Peters, signed Talib, extended Gurley, extended Donald, and traded for Dante Fowler. These are all moves off the top of the dome. I’m sure i’m missing 5 key transactions. I thought everyone hated super teams? Or is that only basketball specific? The point i’m trying to get to is that if Rams win, is anyone surprised when you take a step back and look at it through that lense. The biggest move for the Patriots made in the last year was trading a 7th round pick for Offensive Lineman, Trent Brown. The Pats are the same team year in and year out just with different faces. When Tom Brady needs a first down it’s going to Edelman or Gronk. If they need a stop on defense, it’s going to be one of either McCourty brothers, Donta Hightower, or some no name white linebacker making the play. The formula works for them, why would they change it. I hate to be that guy but this matchup is a duel to see which generation is superior. Is it the millennial generation of instant gratification or is it the old school play your position, attention to detail generation who will win out? My money is on the geezers. Advantage Pats

PREDICTION

Rams win 3-2 according our analysis so that means I’m going with the Patriots and the leadership of Darth Vader and Emperor Palpatine (the math check out don’t worry). Tom Brady get his 6th ring Belichick gets his 8th (won two as Giants Defensive Coordinator in the 80s). Brady already solidified his status as GOAT quarterback two years ago with the 25 point Super Bowl comeback so another would put him in the discussion with GOAT player. I think he is in the conversations but it always seems like Jerry Rice and Lawrence Taylor are in that tier just above Tom. The things that Rice and Taylor have over Brady is that they truly revolutionized the game whereas Brady has just been REALLY REALLY great for a REALLY REALLY long time. I wouldn’t say Brady revolutionized everything but that’s another topic for another day and I digress. I was going to wax poetic about Belichick too but that’s not why you guys are reading this. I’ll save that for another time. You heard it here first, Patriots are winning today. Peace ✌🏽

-Slim